We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
