If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
