were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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