I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
