look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We are all done wearing pants today
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
