he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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