Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
