Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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