Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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