I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
