She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
