With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
we should paint friendship bongs
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