I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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