I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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