You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
