I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize