a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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