Swine flu is the new snow day.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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