Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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