So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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