I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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