Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
