Only a mothe r could love this liver
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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