a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
