yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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