i may or may not be watching the land before time
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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