I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Randomize
