8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
