My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
