I think my vagina is haunted
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
