waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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