Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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