the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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