I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize