they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
