I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
