Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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