I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Randomize