and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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