Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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