If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
