My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
