Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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