i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
