Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
