i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
