it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
