why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
how does that bad decision feel?
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