I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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