Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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