It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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