you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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