Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
