Soap is not a condiment
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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