Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
