Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
my sisters under your porch take her home
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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