His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize