she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
