The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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