Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
