My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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