This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
