then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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