marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
True college students do jello shots in the library
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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