He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
