I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
